The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on his face.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here at 7 A.M. to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him—he's afraid to cough!"
Kiss on a Train
There is a handsome young man, a beautiful young girl, the young girl's mother, an army general and a lowly private on board a train. The ride has been going on for about half an hour, and they've all politely been glancing about at each other.
The train then went into a tunnel, a kissing sound was heard, and there was a slap. During this, the mother was thinking: "That boy has been eyeing my daughter, and now he kissed her, and my daughter slapped him. Good for her!" The daughter was thinking: "That handsome boy meant to kiss me, but kissed my mother instead, and she slapped him!" The handsome guy was thinking: "That general kissed that girl's mother, and she slapped him. I would've too, he's pretty ugly!" The General was thinking: "That handsome boy kissed that beautiful girl, and I was accidentally slapped by the beautiful girl. Ouch, that's going to leave a mark." And the lowly private thought: "Whoah, I kiss the back of my hand and get to hit the boss. I love trains."