Witty Joke

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

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grumpy old man

an older guy is trying to get his young wife pregant, so he goes to the doctor to get a sperm count. the doc gives him a cup and a lid and tells him to go home and fill it. the next day he goes back to the doctors office and gives him a empty cup, the doctor asked him why is the cup empty? the old man said i'd tried with my left hand, my right hand. my wife tried with her left hand, her right hand and even her mouth. my wife's friend even tried. so the doctor said what is the probelm, the old man replies, we could'nt get the lid off the cup.

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